Poetry Exercise #1

Write down three things that are physically impossible. Now set that list aside and write a fake diary entry about the most boring, most ordinary day.

I'll go first:

I woke up. The sun was out. I went downstairs. I made some oatmeal. I ate the oatmeal. The mailman came. I checked the mail. Bills. A birthday card for my neighbor. I watched some television. I pet my dog. I had a sandwich for lunch. I had another sandwich for dinner. I went to bed.

Now, get that list. Choose one of the impossible things. Rewrite the journal entry as a person who (fortunately or unfortunately) has the impossible power/ability you chose.


Diary Entry of a Fire Breather

I woke up. The sun was out. My pillow in flames,
the toilet water boiling. Burnt oatmeal again.
The mailman came. I scorched the bills.
I singed the birthday card for my neighbor.
I watched Mary Tyler Moore melt. I pet my dog to ashes.
I had a sandwich for lunch. Fried peanut butter and jelly.
Dinner was the same. Fried.
I went to bed. I dreamt of water.


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(This exercised inspired by Louis Jenkins' poem, "Walking Through a Wall")